It is hard to learn about the sheer existence of “Battleship” and not learn that it has built up the reputation of being among the worst films you will see this year at the same time. And it’s true, what can you expect of a film “presented by Hasbro”, making it a film version of a game that had its heydays in lazy afternoon school classes, and all the high-tech factor of two pieces of paper and two pencils. The fact that there is actually a board game Hasbro certainly charges money for is ridiculous enough and somehow defies the charm of the original concept. Now a high-budget high-tech high-concept Alien Invasion movie… what good can that bring?
Honestly? I was entertained! It ain’t no “Battleship Potemkin”, in case you got confused, but it ain’t no “Battle: Los Angeles”, either. It does not have the chops and humour of “Independence Day”, but it has all the hardware, patriotic nonsense and Rihanna in place that makes that kind of film work and often pleasant to watch. Of course when Liam Neeson is involved these days, this will not be a subtle reflection about humanity’s fight for survival, but how often do you see a large naval vessel have an acceleration like a Porsche, and can do power slides like a snowboarder? It’s not real? Duh…
There is even a positive message in “Battleship”: future alien invadors will jump-rope into our cities and despite their superior technology, ability for interstellar travel and Transformer-like battleship machinery, try to conquer the world in mano-a-mano combat. That will take a while, so no need to panic, unless you are located on Hawaii, where you will get smashed by goofy wheels of fire. Mankind, you stand a chance against these slightly disorganised “super carrots”.
thomas4cinema 